I cannot think of anything to write, all i know is just that i wanted to keep my blogs updated.
I really felt so bad that even Friendster.com was restricted in my workplace, well it simply means that i needed to import my blog entries in here. Its been a while since i started blogging my thoughts. It wasnt that as frequent as others do but it really came from my heart.
Some says that i write good but some says "i dont give that damn shit!" hehehe. I'll just put everything in here.
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april 26 2007
EMPTINESS!
just lately i felt this unexplainable emptiness. I cant really figure out the reason why.
is it because of some failed relationships or just tryin to pursue some that isn't meant to come in reality? but in all fairness to me, i am not the only one who can be told to as DREAMER.
i remember an officemate who's into palm reading, once told me that in three months time a love that will last a long time will be told in my life... with shadows of doubt in my mind, i believed her (nothing to lose if ever..)
im in search of that person now... i deeply prayed for someone who was so closed in my heart. but what if that person belongs to somebody and they have been together for years now and still counting, can i still keep on believing to have h__?
i remember an officemate who's into palm reading, once told me that in three months time a love that will last a long time will be told in my life... with shadows of doubt in my mind, i believed her (nothing to lose if ever..)
im in search of that person now... i deeply prayed for someone who was so closed in my heart. but what if that person belongs to somebody and they have been together for years now and still counting, can i still keep on believing to have h__?
so many questions... so many restrictions... and so many regrets...
i should be happy at this time somehow, because even for some hours, i spent time with the one so special to me. and whoever you maybe, i luv u.
i should be happy at this time somehow, because even for some hours, i spent time with the one so special to me. and whoever you maybe, i luv u.
:-(
=======================================
february 15 2007
I Knew I Love You Before I Met You
February 06 2007
I remember a song as popularized by Savage Garden way back in the late 90’s I guess (I can t really recall when…) this is used to be one of my favorites that time. More than just the good voice of its interpreter, its exceptional lyrics captivated me.
This might sound worn-out but was proven once again. No matter how much I deny that it’s just a song, i found myself just opposing. It’s more than a song for me; it’s an experience and an inspiration for me.
A good friend once told me before that love comes in the most unexpected way. It is something that should not be chased but something that should be waited for. Who knows when and where love might be found. It could be in the jeepney or bus you have last taken a ride to or might be at the coffee shop or the classy resto you dine in. We all have our fair share of finding our true love.
While most of us took years and years before finding one and others just keep on chasing love by constant dating and ending up nothing, I have learn to sit back & relax and wait until that someone will arrive.
A good friend once told me “don’t just sit there and relax… you need to do something to find your mate!” At first I was moved, I tried dating and dating but all have seemed worthless, I just cannot find what I am looking for, at the end of the day I found myself frustrated and lonely. Yes, I have to admit that its lonely being alone, but what I needed then was to appreciate the blessedness of being single. I tried to put myself at the brighter side of it, and I appreciated it that much. I’ve got more time for myself, my crazy work schedule and of course my family as well. Along the way, I realized that I am not growing any younger. I thought this is the right time for me to really open my senses for that special someone.
Well enough of being single… after those wounds and scars from failed relationships now I am ready to entrust my heart to someone. It started with constant exchanges of text messages, from the silliest jokes to the corniest yet romantic love quotations. It went through for months without any intention of meeting together. After a while of being text buddies I got busy with my new work, and then suddenly we stopped communicating. I was in the province for Christmas and I let my father have my cell phone that time in exchange of an old model Nokia phone. It means that I have lost some of the numbers that were stored in my old phone. Until one day, I received a sweet message from a strange number, but for some reason or another it called my attention. Though its not my practice to entertain those text message but why not giving it a try… well nothing to lose. We exchange thoughts, talked about things and personal issues. Until we decided to meet during my rest day. With all the intimidations I have in me, we went out for a date. Wow! This is a make or break for us, so many “what if”s.. But then, after that day I just figured out that this is it… I just felt the strangest feeling that is beyond my explanation. I think this what I’ve been waiting for so long. I know that I’m feeling alright and I can call this love. Be it called crazy but its real. Now I can say… “I knew I love you before I met you” and I will love you even more now that I have you.
===========================
january 13 2007
Can i call this a new home?
after the bad experience from my previous work, i am so happy that i am now surrounded with supportive friends and people that once again proved my worth.
we all have been together for almost a month now, and i can confidently say that we've been very good friends somehow. a week from now we will all be hitting the production floor for our nesting period... and since we are in inbound account we wiill all be assigned into different shifts.
im happy because we're almost done with our training and still complete...
i have found a new home here, and a new friends... but not to forget the real friends that i have from my previous office (you know who you are guys... and i miss you all...).
:-)
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december 21 2006
It's Christmas
LAst week has been a bad experience for me... I together with any other agents and some supervisor were laid off from our job due to redundancy status of our account. At first glance, it was a terrible experience because it was really my first time get fired from a job, but i am so proud to say that i have a good shot though.
What made me feel so sad that time was the test of friendship that we have. Some of my friends got involved with this issue. Some are playing safe while others are brave enough to show how they really feel about it.
Thursday night we are so excited to plan our groups performance in the upcoming Yearend Party, but we are asked to report earlier the next night just to be informed that they have to let us go, maybe it's mean if i will use the term "forced resignation" or termination maybe.
In such a short span of time that im wroking for the company, i have learned to embraced it's weaknesses and strengths, not to mention the close relationships that we have with my teammates. Friendships were developed, there may be some issues that could lead to one's destruction but we are able to resolved it.
That moment was so emotional. Friendships were tested. Real people were figured out.
well since its Christmas... i have moved on, forgiven my friends who betrayed me... those incompetent supervisors who enjoy using people to be lifted up... i have forgiven you all. I am so sorry as well for all my faults too... till then... to those who are retained Good Luck & for those who are not so lucky like me to be laid off, "IF A NIPA HUT CLOSES A DOOR, DONT WORRY A MANSION WILL OPEN A WINDOW FOR US..."
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE.
What made me feel so sad that time was the test of friendship that we have. Some of my friends got involved with this issue. Some are playing safe while others are brave enough to show how they really feel about it.
Thursday night we are so excited to plan our groups performance in the upcoming Yearend Party, but we are asked to report earlier the next night just to be informed that they have to let us go, maybe it's mean if i will use the term "forced resignation" or termination maybe.
In such a short span of time that im wroking for the company, i have learned to embraced it's weaknesses and strengths, not to mention the close relationships that we have with my teammates. Friendships were developed, there may be some issues that could lead to one's destruction but we are able to resolved it.
That moment was so emotional. Friendships were tested. Real people were figured out.
well since its Christmas... i have moved on, forgiven my friends who betrayed me... those incompetent supervisors who enjoy using people to be lifted up... i have forgiven you all. I am so sorry as well for all my faults too... till then... to those who are retained Good Luck & for those who are not so lucky like me to be laid off, "IF A NIPA HUT CLOSES A DOOR, DONT WORRY A MANSION WILL OPEN A WINDOW FOR US..."
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE.
================================
december 16 2006
If God Closes a Door He Opens a Window
I dont wanna dwell much on my dissapointment yesterday. I have already cried it out to God.
I was reminded of his promise for me... that he has plan for my life. All i needed was to be with him again. And i am so thankful that my dear brothers in faith were there to lift my spirit high again and reminded me that i am so much loved by God.
Well, if God closes a door for me He will surely open a new window. For five months of stay at Xcelerate Center, i can say that i am at my best so far, ive learned a lot of things and ive realized the real meaning of friendship but just like a song it has to come in an end. I have to open a new chapter of my life.
To the people ive worked with: Sir darnell, sir rhandy, bessa, emer, anne, paula, kate, alex, rhon, raissa, john, jim et.al (so many to mention) not to forget JC, sir james and the rest of the tech people, thank you so much.
:-)
I was reminded of his promise for me... that he has plan for my life. All i needed was to be with him again. And i am so thankful that my dear brothers in faith were there to lift my spirit high again and reminded me that i am so much loved by God.
Well, if God closes a door for me He will surely open a new window. For five months of stay at Xcelerate Center, i can say that i am at my best so far, ive learned a lot of things and ive realized the real meaning of friendship but just like a song it has to come in an end. I have to open a new chapter of my life.
To the people ive worked with: Sir darnell, sir rhandy, bessa, emer, anne, paula, kate, alex, rhon, raissa, john, jim et.al (so many to mention) not to forget JC, sir james and the rest of the tech people, thank you so much.
:-)
============================
december 04 2006
ROLLER COASTER RIDE
LIFE is full of surprises. Today you may be laughing at the top of your lungs, but suddenly you will be striken by certain sadness for the reason you dont know.
What a week that was for me... I've been to my hometown last week after 6 months. I was really happy then that i can spend my long weekend with my parents, brother, nephews and nieces... but of course my friends. It was the christening celebration of my brother's 2nd daughter and Macky's birthday celebration as well.
Indeed, there is no place like home. Somehow i feel the different joy in my heart to be united with my family again.
I have gone back to Manila for my work. And as usual i'll be at work again. For some reason maybe i dont feel the excitement and joy of going to mywork as i have before... (Maybe its because of the unhealthy issues that involved me and my friends at work) well anyway thats part of life... Life must go on for me. work.. work... work...
A dear friend will leave the office this week, maybe because he had been pressured much of our job (this is true especially for sales people, call center agents). It really saddened me becasuse for a short period of time, he has touched my life in a very special way, but its really his decision and as afriend what i can do most is to become supportive of his plans.
Just this morning, i was shocked by the SMS from my niece... Our dear cousin who was the closest to our family got killed last night. I was really terrified and dont know how to react... WHAT IS GOIN ON!
Well, perhaps i just miss God in my life... this is way of waking me up. Though life is a roller coaster, God is telling me that HE will always be the Operator... He is in Control.
====================================
dec 01 2006
Waaaaaaaaaaah!
Why is that when you're about to be happy then suddenly everything around you will be shattered?
I just wanna cry out loud... I wanna scream... I need some help!!!
I have kept my current situation from my friends thinking that i can withstand on this alone... but im wrong. I nedd them beside me.
WORK?... well it's not good but it's okay... I believe that my officemates who knew me well will understand me, but for those who aren't... goodluck sa akin!
well anyway yun lang po...
===================================
november 28 2006
YOU CANNOT PLEASE EVERYONE!
What a week that was!
CAREER...
I have an officemate who was really irritated with me by some reasons that i dont know. This guy was used to be my teammate from my previous campaign in the contact center where i am with today. Well as a newbie, i need to ride along with their teasing moments adopting the team motto "BAWAL ANG PIKON DITO". Well, i need to admit that I am not excuse into being pikon (person who is easy to anger and get exaspirated), but lately i figured out that this GUY was the real pikon. WHY? well that is quite a long story, but for sure nobody will dare to know, cos its insignbificant... in short waste of time.
But why i am telling you all this... simply because i want to unburden myself with that issue.
As the popular cliche goes "there is no perfect office!"
LOVELIFE...
I think im in love... because i have this strangest feeling in me after i have been to Nueva Vizcaya.
I went home to attend a family gathering then later that day i went out with my friends for some hook-ups.
I came to meet this person, and suddenly... its magic!
IM IN LOVE!!!
CAREER...
I have an officemate who was really irritated with me by some reasons that i dont know. This guy was used to be my teammate from my previous campaign in the contact center where i am with today. Well as a newbie, i need to ride along with their teasing moments adopting the team motto "BAWAL ANG PIKON DITO". Well, i need to admit that I am not excuse into being pikon (person who is easy to anger and get exaspirated), but lately i figured out that this GUY was the real pikon. WHY? well that is quite a long story, but for sure nobody will dare to know, cos its insignbificant... in short waste of time.
But why i am telling you all this... simply because i want to unburden myself with that issue.
As the popular cliche goes "there is no perfect office!"
LOVELIFE...
I think im in love... because i have this strangest feeling in me after i have been to Nueva Vizcaya.
I went home to attend a family gathering then later that day i went out with my friends for some hook-ups.
I came to meet this person, and suddenly... its magic!
IM IN LOVE!!!
=========================
november 19 2006
Im feeling so happy
I really get so excited knowing that i'll soon be having my own iPod nano, well its worthy of every sweatdrop...This is my Christmas 06 wish aside from more blessings for my family.
I'm feeling so happy because...
... i am talking to my bestfriend at this very moment (via ym).
... i started to improve my sales stats sa work.
...i'll be home next week after almost 6mos.
...my friends are so supportive of me.
...i am so much inlove.
until then.
I'm feeling so happy because...
... i am talking to my bestfriend at this very moment (via ym).
... i started to improve my sales stats sa work.
...i'll be home next week after almost 6mos.
...my friends are so supportive of me.
...i am so much inlove.
until then.
==================
november 07 2006
“I DON’T KNOW WHY?...”
3:00 PM, Manila Standard Time
I am a bit woozy as I was awakened by a call from a college friend, asking for some assistance to secure a call center seat. Well, I should thank him somehow because I almost forget my 6 pm appointment with a friend.
As usual I have to turn on the PC nearby my bed to have some relaxing music from various artists who I really liked so much. I t has always been a routine for me to have doses of Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston pieces before laying on the bed to finally say adieu for a tough day that was. It was really an anti-depressant for me as I hear their lovely voice.
But lately, something seems to really bother me.
I know its okay for us to have loved someone, regardless if it’s conventional or the other way around. And for PLU (people-like-us), it is really tough to show our real emotions especially when it involves a straight guy. Well not for me… because since day 1 of my job at my new workplace, I shown them the real me, plus the fact that I can be accepted, respected and somehow rejected by the some narrow-old-fashioned-minded individuals (some of them are valid but mostly are not).
Well, I am writing this journal now, without any particular mean in mind. I just wanted to unburden everything in writing.
…
It’s a day after my birthday when I was hired at my new job now as a call center associate. This was a great leap of faith for me, because I have to move out of my previous company for two years. And in great fairness, I’ve learned to love the company and embrace its weaknesses for the past years .
Since my first day up to the present, I can proudly say that I’m enjoying my new workplace more than ever. Maybe it’s because I was given the opportunity this time to prove my skills and potentials (uhmmmmn… promotion per se)…
The real reason maybe is the person who makes me really feel so excited everyday to be in the office. There was this stunning chinito guy who caught my attention on the day I stepped in to this office. There was this unexplainable spark I’ve felt then.
On that day onwards, I don’t really know how to befriend him. Maybe I need to learn his likes and dislikes and start a tête-à-tête with him, but what if he will dislike me… (I cant take it!)
Thanks God that he created me to be a congenial person, and I didn’t have a hard time having this chinito guy as friend. It’s a success for me.
August… September… October… months passed we have been very good friend but with my officemates of course. Gimmiks after shift (drunk early in the morning hahahaha) and any other bonding moments. Suddenly things changed, because I slowly realized that I’ve fallen for him.
I know it’s impossible but at least the best part for me is that I have experience love though it wasn’t reciprocated in return. He will be one of the best chapters of my life. I am satisfied with his attention but in a discreet and matured way. Just by a mere glance at his smile that would mean a thousand smiles for me. I know this is a dream, so I’d rather choose not to be awakened.
…
I think I need to go back to sleep, my friend cancelled our appointment and I still have my work tonight.
I am a bit woozy as I was awakened by a call from a college friend, asking for some assistance to secure a call center seat. Well, I should thank him somehow because I almost forget my 6 pm appointment with a friend.
As usual I have to turn on the PC nearby my bed to have some relaxing music from various artists who I really liked so much. I t has always been a routine for me to have doses of Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston pieces before laying on the bed to finally say adieu for a tough day that was. It was really an anti-depressant for me as I hear their lovely voice.
But lately, something seems to really bother me.
I know its okay for us to have loved someone, regardless if it’s conventional or the other way around. And for PLU (people-like-us), it is really tough to show our real emotions especially when it involves a straight guy. Well not for me… because since day 1 of my job at my new workplace, I shown them the real me, plus the fact that I can be accepted, respected and somehow rejected by the some narrow-old-fashioned-minded individuals (some of them are valid but mostly are not).
Well, I am writing this journal now, without any particular mean in mind. I just wanted to unburden everything in writing.
…
It’s a day after my birthday when I was hired at my new job now as a call center associate. This was a great leap of faith for me, because I have to move out of my previous company for two years. And in great fairness, I’ve learned to love the company and embrace its weaknesses for the past years .
Since my first day up to the present, I can proudly say that I’m enjoying my new workplace more than ever. Maybe it’s because I was given the opportunity this time to prove my skills and potentials (uhmmmmn… promotion per se)…
The real reason maybe is the person who makes me really feel so excited everyday to be in the office. There was this stunning chinito guy who caught my attention on the day I stepped in to this office. There was this unexplainable spark I’ve felt then.
On that day onwards, I don’t really know how to befriend him. Maybe I need to learn his likes and dislikes and start a tête-à-tête with him, but what if he will dislike me… (I cant take it!)
Thanks God that he created me to be a congenial person, and I didn’t have a hard time having this chinito guy as friend. It’s a success for me.
August… September… October… months passed we have been very good friend but with my officemates of course. Gimmiks after shift (drunk early in the morning hahahaha) and any other bonding moments. Suddenly things changed, because I slowly realized that I’ve fallen for him.
I know it’s impossible but at least the best part for me is that I have experience love though it wasn’t reciprocated in return. He will be one of the best chapters of my life. I am satisfied with his attention but in a discreet and matured way. Just by a mere glance at his smile that would mean a thousand smiles for me. I know this is a dream, so I’d rather choose not to be awakened.
…
I think I need to go back to sleep, my friend cancelled our appointment and I still have my work tonight.
=============================
september 30 2006
There is no place like home!
i miss God a lot, and i am so happy to be back to where i am truly belong.
To all my church leaders and friends, thank you so much for faithfully praying for me. Now im back and more than ready to Praise and Worship JESUS again.
Never i will leave my life without Him.
To God be the glory always.
=============================
september 14 2006
Just Look Ahead...
Thank you so much to all the people whom i have worked with in Qinteraction. From the administration, operations management and to the operation people. Some of them might hated me for leaving the company, but most of them are happy because i have finally got the courage to broaden my horizon.
To my friends, superiors and coagents before you will forever be part of my life, i really appreciate the times that we guys were together (through the good times and the bad).
And to the new world i am right now, i hope to get well with you guys. Together we can "Experience the service to the Xth power"...
To my friends, superiors and coagents before you will forever be part of my life, i really appreciate the times that we guys were together (through the good times and the bad).
And to the new world i am right now, i hope to get well with you guys. Together we can "Experience the service to the Xth power"...
==============================
july 20 2006
Sweet Goodbyes?
Indeed, goodbyes are the saddest moments of our life. Most of us bid goodbyes before someome will leave us behind.
This story aint unusual. We heard stories about friendship & love. Most are beyond reality but some seems to be real. Some ends up like a fairytale do, but some are not.
I've met this guy when i was in my freshman year in college. I am taking up Accountancy then, and he was an Education student. We shared a room in a boarding house nearby the University.
Our friendship grew deeper and deeper each day Despite the differences in our views and opinions. We're almost brothers then. "Partners in crime" as they called us.
That school year ended packed with memories of our friendship. But every beginnings must come to a temporary ending... I have to leave the school for a university nearer to our province then. As i bid farewell to him that moment, tears flowed from my eyes. I want time to be frozen then.
But as i leave our boarding house, we have uttered a covenant that we will be forever bestfriends. With that promise kept in my heart, i moved on and pushed through with my studies. We constantly communicating then (i credit a lot to TECHNOLOGY). Exchanging corny text messages, spending call cards to talk over mobile phones, and a home visit once in a while until.
Those things remains constant. I am overwhelmed by our friendship then, because it doesnt care about time and distance. Not until we have reached our senior years, I get busy with my studies and my extra curricular activities and likewise in his end. Communication then almost died.
As graduation approaches, i received a call... wow! its my bestfriend... asking me to meet him in a Mall near my university. I cant explain the feeling i have then.
We spent the whole day together, sharing plans and casting visions after we have finished our studies. We even planned of sharing a place together in the metro. But in reality, its not that easy.
I have to work in our province initially and he has to in his place as well. He has to take care of his sick dad thats why... In separated by distance again.
After a period of time I decided to work here in the metro, and he' still working in his hometown. I constantly making a way to convinced him to move here in the city with me because of the greater opportunity that awaits him. But he cannot just leave his family.
Now, years have passed and still i haven't seen him just for once. Until i received a call from my bestfriend but this time, it was an international call...
We are not just separated by merely distance, but by oceans. He's working abroad for almost a year now, and he has a two-year contract there. So i planned to work abroad too. When i have my job application approved and just waiting for my VISA, he informed me that he will be going home immediately... wow!
WHATS THIS! are we played by destiny... God knows how i miss my bestfriend that much... But i cant really understand that by some twists of fate, we cannot be together. What happened to the covenant of friendship?
Well, thats it... anyway friendship know no time and distance. Its always in the heart.
But...
The saddest part of the story is that MY BESTFRIEND will be home for his wedding, and i am his BESTMAN.
I am happy for him, though it means suppression of the feelings for him i have kept for years.
END ...
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