I Dont know why?

I am a bit woozy as I was awakened by a call from a college friend, asking for some assistance to secure a call center seat. Well, I should thank him somehow because I almost forget my 6 pm appointment with a friend.
As usual I have to turn on the PC nearby my bed to have some relaxing music from various artists who I really liked so much. I t has always been a routine for me to have doses of Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston pieces before laying on the bed to finally say adieu for a tough day that was. It was really an anti-depressant for me as I hear their lovely voice.
But lately, something seems to really bother me.
I know its okay for us to have loved someone, regardless if it’s conventional or the other way around. And for PLU (people-like-us), it is really tough to show our real emotions especially when it involves a straight guy. Well not for me… because since day 1 of my job at my new workplace, I shown them the real me, plus the fact that I can be accepted, respected and somehow rejected by the some narrow-old-fashioned-minded individuals (some of them are valid but mostly are not).
Well, I am writing this journal now, without any particular mean in mind. I just wanted to unburden everything in writing.
…
It’s a day after my birthday when I was hired at my new job now as a call center associate. This was a great leap of faith for me, because I have to move out of my previous company for two years. And in great fairness, I’ve learned to love the company and embrace its weaknesses for the past years .
Since my first day up to the present, I can proudly say that I’m enjoying my new workplace more than ever. Maybe it’s because I was given the opportunity this time to prove my skills and potentials (uhmmmmn… promotion per se)…
The real reason maybe is the person who makes me really feel so excited everyday to be in the office. There was this stunning chinito guy who caught my attention on the day I stepped in to this office. There was this unexplainable spark I’ve felt then.
On that day onwards, I don’t really know how to befriend him. Maybe I need to learn his likes and dislikes and start a tête-à-tête with him, but what if he will dislike me… (I cant take it!)
Thanks God that he created me to be a congenial person, and I didn’t have a hard time having this chinito guy as friend. It’s a success for me.
August… September… October… months passed we have been very good friend but with my officemates of course. Gimmiks after shift (drunk early in the morning hahahaha) and any other bonding moments. Suddenly things changed, because I slowly realized that I’ve fallen for him.
I know it’s impossible but at least the best part for me is that I have experience love though it wasn’t reciprocated in return. He will be one of the best chapters of my life. I am satisfied with his attention but in a discreet and matured way. Just by a mere glance at his smile that would mean a thousand smiles for me. I know this is a dream, so I’d rather choose not to be awakened.
…
I think I need to go back to sleep, my friend cancelled our appointment and I still have my work tonight.