I Dont know why?

I am a bit woozy as I was awakened by a call from a college friend, asking for some assistance to secure a call center seat. Well, I should thank him somehow because I almost forget my 6 pm appointment with a friend.
As usual I have to turn on the PC nearby my bed to have some relaxing music from various artists who I really liked so much. I t has always been a routine for me to have doses of Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston pieces before laying on the bed to finally say adieu for a tough day that was. It was really an anti-depressant for me as I hear their lovely voice.
But lately, something seems to really bother me.
I know its okay for us to have loved someone, regardless if it’s conventional or the other way around. And for PLU (people-like-us), it is really tough to show our real emotions especially when it involves a straight guy. Well not for me… because since day 1 of my job at my new workplace, I shown them the real me, plus the fact that I can be accepted, respected and somehow rejected by the some narrow-old-fashioned-minded individuals (some of them are valid but mostly are not).
Well, I am writing this journal now, without any particular mean in mind. I just wanted to unburden everything in writing.
…
It’s a day after my birthday when I was hired at my new job now as a call center associate. This was a great leap of faith for me, because I have to move out of my previous company for two years. And in great fairness, I’ve learned to love the company and embrace its weaknesses for the past years .
Since my first day up to the present, I can proudly say that I’m enjoying my new workplace more than ever. Maybe it’s because I was given the opportunity this time to prove my skills and potentials (uhmmmmn… promotion per se)…
The real reason maybe is the person who makes me really feel so excited everyday to be in the office. There was this stunning chinito guy who caught my attention on the day I stepped in to this office. There was this unexplainable spark I’ve felt then.
On that day onwards, I don’t really know how to befriend him. Maybe I need to learn his likes and dislikes and start a tête-à-tête with him, but what if he will dislike me… (I cant take it!)
Thanks God that he created me to be a congenial person, and I didn’t have a hard time having this chinito guy as friend. It’s a success for me.
August… September… October… months passed we have been very good friend but with my officemates of course. Gimmiks after shift (drunk early in the morning hahahaha) and any other bonding moments. Suddenly things changed, because I slowly realized that I’ve fallen for him.
I know it’s impossible but at least the best part for me is that I have experience love though it wasn’t reciprocated in return. He will be one of the best chapters of my life. I am satisfied with his attention but in a discreet and matured way. Just by a mere glance at his smile that would mean a thousand smiles for me. I know this is a dream, so I’d rather choose not to be awakened.
…
I think I need to go back to sleep, my friend cancelled our appointment and I still have my work tonight.

Sweet Goodbye?

Indeed, goodbyes are the saddest moments of our life. Most of us bid goodbyes before someome will leave us behind.

This story aint unusual. We heard stories about friendship & love. Most are beyond reality but some seems to be real. Some ends up like a fairytale do, but some are not.

I've met this guy when i was in my freshman year in college. I am taking up Accountancy then, and he was an Education student. We shared a room in a boarding house nearby the University.
Our friendship grew deeper and deeper each day Despite the differences in our views and opinions. We're almost brothers then. "Partners in crime" as they called us.
That school year ended packed with memories of our friendship. But every beginnings must come to a temporary ending... I have to leave the school for a university nearer to our province then. As i bid farewell to him that moment, tears flowed from my eyes. I want time to be frozen then.

But as i leave our boarding house, we have uttered a covenant that we will be forever bestfriends. With that promise kept in my heart, i moved on and pushed through with my studies. We constantly communicating then (i credit a lot to TECHNOLOGY). Exchanging corny text messages, spending call cards to talk over mobile phones, and a home visit once in a while until.

Those things remains constant. I am overwhelmed by our friendship then, because it doesnt care about time and distance. Not until we have reached our senior years, I get busy with my studies and my extra curricular activities and likewise in his end. Communication then almost died.

As graduation approaches, i received a call... wow! its my bestfriend... asking me to meet him in a Mall near my university. I cant explain the feeling i have then.
We spent the whole day together, sharing plans and casting visions after we have finished our studies. We even planned of sharing a place together in the metro. But in reality, its not that easy.

I have to work in our province initially and he has to in his place as well. He has to take care of his sick dad thats why... In separated by distance again.
After a period of time I decided to work here in the metro, and he' still working in his hometown. I constantly making a way to convinced him to move here in the city with me because of the greater opportunity that awaits him. But he cannot just leave his family.

Now, years have passed and still i haven't seen him just for once. Until i received a call from my bestfriend but this time, it was an international call...
We are not just separated by merely distance, but by oceans. He's working abroad for almost a year now, and he has a two-year contract there. So i planned to work abroad too. When i have my job application approved and just waiting for my VISA, he informed me that he will be going home immediately... wow!

WHATS THIS! are we played by destiny... God knows how i miss my bestfriend that much... But i cant really understand that by some twists of fate, we cannot be together. What happened to the covenant of friendship?

Well, thats it... anyway friendship know no time and distance. Its always in the heart.
But...

The saddest part of the story is that MY BESTFRIEND will be home for his wedding, and i am his BESTMAN.

I am happy for him, though it means suppression of the feelings for him i have kept for years.